Wishing for a Flip Phone: AKA Desiring to Live Like an Ascetic Monk
25 May 2026
Lately I've been very fixated on the idea of getting a flip phone. The seed of the idea had been germinating in my mind for, honestly years at this point. I always joked that my beloved abandoned social media app Peach was the only thing keeping me from just throwing my smartphone into the sea. Well, folks, the unthinkable finally happened, and, after hanging on without an active developer for years at this point, Peach finally kicked the bucket[1]. After that, I felt like I really did need to assess whether throwing my smartphone in the ocean was truly the move. Several factors fueled the desire within me of ditching my smartphone entirely including but not limited to:
TIME/ATTENTION
Working five days a week has made my free time more valuable. For most of my working life, and when I was able to have control over my own education, I capped it at 3 or 4 days per week working, sometimes even less. We can talk about how inhumane the five day a week work expectation is (let alone me potentially working two jobs, but at the moment of writing that remains to be seen and I'm still unsure if I want to pursue that opportunity), but at the end of the day it just equals less free time than I've had in the past. As much as I would try to limit the use of my phone, remove myself from social media, or control my screen time in general, it was too easy to use mindless scrolling as a numbing activity or a way to "fast forward" through unstimulating moments of my life[2]. My time on this Earth is limited, and it just does not feel enriching to sit there and scroll. I found that I wasn't reading much anymore, and something would get in the way mentally when I would try to. I felt like my attention span, my focus and my patience was being harmed and even beginning to atrophy somewhat. This began to disturb me. I can take action to cultivate these skills again.
BIG TECH
A major catalyst was Samsung's decision to discontinue their texting app and shove Google messages down their clients' throats. Naturally, this sickens me, as well as Google blocking apps on Android devices that don't come from their Play Store. The vice grip of technology companies grows tighter. The tracking, surveillance, tightening of controls... I honestly feel like I don't need to go into too much detail here because if you're on the internet, you know what I'm talking about. Even something as commonplace as Instagram doesn't want you viewing posts without an account, which is as haunting as it is baffling. California recently passed legislation to enact age verification policies at the O.S. level. All these things are connected. All these things are connected to the disgust I felt towards my smartphone. I guess I felt somehow complicit, or falling into the trap of just complaining about a problem or noticing it, but still feeding the machine through laziness or boredom. I imagine it might get worse before it gets better. I'm also very contrary by nature, and I have an appreciation for old-timey things, and both of these qualities tie in here as well.
ASCETIC FEELINGS
This reason is one of more important ones, but harder to put into words. Sometimes I have a tendency to seek out harshness for myself. There is a part of me that longs to live like an ascetic monk and that part of me achieves some strategic victories from time to time. The attraction I feel towards vegetarianism is a great example of this. And pouring fresh water for my altar every morning. And keeping an altar at all. I'm not sure where this comes from to be totally honest, that would be a great feeling to meditate with and try to communicate with, to discover the roots. Part of my nature is that I'm very spiritually oriented, that's one of the great struggles and themes of my life up to this point.[3] It's hard to draw the connecting through line here, but I can see that it exists. Asceticism is ascribing a virtuousness to going without; self-discipline as a tool to achieve spiritual goals. It might not be that deep. I didn't decide to ditch my smartphone to achieve union with God, that is not what I'm saying. But the same part of me that desires to have a meaningful life is a supportive and connective force behind ditching my smartphone. That part of me says that I can have a greater clarity of mind and groundedness without the distraction. That part of me says that my day to day moments can have more value.
At the end of the day, I found myself exhausted by the psychic weight of my phone. The connection to everyone all the time, always knowing where it was, always it beckoning me to check it or look or scroll no matter what I did to limit that, carrying it with me all the time, feeling naked or bothered if I did not have it with me, looking at it first thing in the morning or at night before bed, even getting to the point where I almost felt it like a part of me... All this contributed to the psychic weight.
For all these reasons, and other reasons that I'm unaware of, I ditched my smart phone for a flip phone about two weeks ago. Time will tell whether I truly end up enjoying it, or if it's a brief fad and I end up switching back very shortly. I can always switch the sim card back and forth depending on my needs. I spent some time doing research[4] and I ended up getting a phone from this company, mostly because I liked the idea of having a mobile hotspot in case I ever needed it, I could get a model with no Google proprietary software whatsoever, and it didn't look like it would fall apart immediately.
So far, it's an inert brick that completely delights me! I feel like my phone is a simple tool that serves me, instead of a creature I resent but still carry around everywhere and feed with my attention. It's a lot like how I felt switching from Windows to Linux on my main PC. At first, I still felt the desire to check it even though there was nothing on it (helpfully this model has a light on the outside that tells me if I have a text or call, so I can know without having to open the phone) but that desire went away. It does mean that I'm a bit harder to get ahold of, which some people find minorly irritating, but it also means that I've never been more accessible by phone call and already it's led to more phone conversations with my friends. So I'm in the adjustment period but I'm feeling optimistic overall. Expect an update in the next few months.
Beyond that, it's been a very mild May in my part of the world. I may begin working two jobs soon (curse my ambition!) so that would be a pretty big change. I wish you all many bright days and peaceful nights. Thank you for reading.
[1]And I mourn her every day. At least I have neko.maison to fill the void in my heart. Made by a Peach user, and it has an active developer and a website so you can access it online.↩
[2] The argument that gets thrown around is something to the effect of "Well, why don't you just develop some self control!" but personally I don't find that very compelling. The box is designed to be addictive. Constant vigilance is not sustainable. Even when I tried to remove social media, I'd catch myself just compulsively refreshing my email, or browsing the Craigslist for sale ads, or whatever else. It was too easy to do what the smartphone was designed to do.↩
[3] Though I reject the Christian religion now for a long list of reasons, as a child and a teenager I would pray every night, read the Bible and beg my parents to take me to church. Just part of my journey I guess. I really feel sometimes that if I didn't have the whole being gay/gender stuff going on, there's a world where I went whole hog on the Christian stuff and became a priest or something.↩
[4] Basic phones, feature phones or "dumb phones" come in a few varieties. Some of them are basically smart phones that keep all of the negative aspects of having a smart phone (the incentive to doomscroll, Google apps, the psychic weight, etc) but with T9 and a tiny shitty screen. Some of them are ancient relics that don't work anymore on whatever modern phone infrastructure exists. Some of them are basically $15 and useless and will turn to dust in your hands. The last category are boutique creations designed to limit your screen time, and, I must stress, are hideously ugly and also ~$600.↩ [5]
[5] Footnote within a footnote. As part of my research I also found this person's blog post which I found very interesting, and so I wanted to share it just as food for thought. In some ways the flip phone even feels like virtue signalling to me.↩