Early Spring 2026

12 April 2026

Winter was for hibernation, just as predicted. By now, we are well into Spring. I hadn't had the space or capacity to update this blog since last year, which is not exactly ideal, but, as the old saying goes, better Nate than lever.[1] To tell you the truth, I have had some pretty substantial life changes and I've been trying to settle into a new rhythm and find my new balance and avoid burning out.

Spring is my favourite season. The time change really makes a huge difference in my life. The increased light, the greenery, the warming up, the vitality of the world, all of this moves my spirit and makes me feel more positive and optimistic and gives me energy and happiness. It was a wet winter, and the beginning of spring came in with some surprisingly warm spells where I'm living, but as of the time of writing this it has cooled down and we've had some spring rains. I spotted my first American robin of the season last week, certain proof of spring.

The biggest and most immediately impactful change in my life has been my new job, working five eight-hour days a week in a medical office that provides very emotionally sensitive services. I'm very competent at the work that I'm doing; I began my new job in December and now I'm fully trained and getting a ton of praise at work from my coworkers and supervisors. My feelings about the work really oscillates. Sometimes, it actually feels very rewarding for me and I do take satisfaction in doing well at my job. I can feel like I'm performing meaningful and socially useful work and there is something specific to me that I'm bringing to the service. I feel respected by my colleagues. And I'm in a union! At the same time, working in the medical industry is soul-crushing in some ways. I had really wanted to leave this behind me (this being my fourth medical office admin job) but the more pressing need of having any kind of work made this feel like the more prudent choice. Sometimes, on slow days, it's truly agonizing and I do end up watching the clock and I wonder how I can keep doing this. And the bulk of the work itself is so tedious and it doesn't give me enrichment. I don't feel challenged by the work, although I do feel challenged by the constant emotional sensitivity vigilance this job requires. The pay, however, is quite good, especially for someone like me, who tries to keep their expenses low. For the first time in my life, I'm getting paid without having run out of money from the last time I got paid.

Truthfully, the most difficult aspect of the job for me is the time investment. No one talks about it, but five days a week is a lot. This is my first time ever working "full-time" and I gotta say, not a fan. It's very draining and very hard on my body. I'm staring the possibility that I might just be too disabled to work full time in the face. It's also been a struggle for me to maintain my various practices that I had been keeping that enrich my life and keep me peaceful, happy and pleased. Here's a helpful list of practices I've been neglecting in favour of being a docile worker bee:

I do know this is a matter of priorities. I have not found the right balance yet, though I seek it. Certainly the time on Tumblr is basically squandered and throwing myself at Slay the Spire II (henceforth: Slire) over and over again isn't exactly using my limited free time in the most optimal way either. At least I have not been, ever, sacrificing my sleep for any reason. I know the days for Tumblr too are limited, mark my words on that one, it's just a matter of generating the willpower. One of my loved ones, who had been using Tumblr basically as long as I have, recently downloaded her whole archive and is in the process of deleting her account and replacing it with something more healthy and I think that's gonna help me to do it too. When I use it these days I just keep asking myself: "What do you really want?"

Probably my other big change has been switching over to Linux on my main computer. My verdict: It's been an extremely positive change. The flavour of choice for me was Debian, for no particular reason other than someone close to me (and much more tech-competent than I) is using it, so it would make troubleshooting easier. Getting everything switched over was a lot easier than I thought it might be. There were a few issues, a weird sound issue that got fixed pretty quickly and trying to get Touhou games to work on Linux was weirdly frustrating, but now that I've been using it since January I could never imagine going back to Windows. The difference in how much respect I feel as a user from Linux compared to Windows is unbelievable.

Let's see. Other than that, I got trained as a birth doula. The biggest takeaways I got from my doula training are as follows:

The doula training did make me think a lot about birth in general, and that weekend I probably talked with my mom for about four hours about her birth stories, pregnancy stories. My mom has a lot of birth trauma, and it made me feel really close with her for us to acknowledge that and talk about it.

I also have to pour one out for Peach. My beloved dysfunctional social media app that no one used has been comatose for quite some time now, and I doubt she's coming back. Peach was really the major thing keeping me from just ditching my smartphone all together and getting some kind of Nokia brick, and the temptation now is stronger than ever[2]. Stay tuned for if I ever decide to go that route. But, fret not! All is not lost for us users of defunct social media apps! neko.maison does seem to be a promising alternative, at least so far, and, unlike Peach, it has an active developer who was a peach user. So it's filling that void in my heart for now.

Do I have anything else to report before I sign off for the night? I did get a message on my guestbook recently, which was really lovely and made me feel less like I'm, just throwing messages in a bottle into an abyss. The commenter was also kind enough to inform me of a broken link which should be fixed now.

Thanks for sticking around if you read all the way to the bottom! I'm wishing you a spring full of balance and new opportunities if you're reading this in the Northern hemisphere, and an autumn full of balance and peaceful resolutions if you're reading this in the Southern hemisphere (and if you're reading this at an untimely time, seasonally appropriate greetings for when and where you are).





[1]IYKYK.↩

[2]I did have a patient at work come in the other day with a flip phone, a girl in her 20s. When I told her that I was tempted to make the switch she said something to the effect of "Do it. I'm never going back and I love it."↩