Early Winter
25 December 2025
Wow... and just like that another season goes by. Time seems to be passing rather quickly to me, but maybe that's just because I'm documenting it better. I had been workshopping an update for this blog for the late Autumn, but I just couldn't find the motivation to finish it. The truth is I've been in a bit of a funk for a number of reasons. Principal among them being, I had been unemployed for a long while and was having rotten luck finding a new job (more on that later). Additionally, as soon as we go into the darker half of the year, I start crashing a bit, becoming much more low energy, and going into myself instead. Actualizing into the world, and blogging is a form of this, becomes much harder for me. Especially after that time change, which always hits me very intensely.
So, how about that season change? Winter came on pretty suddenly. As soon as the solstice came and went, we were hit with cold weather, high winds and a big rainstorm, which is typical winter weather for my region. And of course, it's dark as hell. The sun takes her time rising, and rushes through the day very quickly to go lounge elsewhere. I have not seen the moon much, because the balcony of my apartment only allows a narrow slice of sky for moon-viewing. And the cedar waxwings have come back, they came back a few months ago. Cedar waxwings are a delightful, flocking type of bird with a whining thin call, and they only eat fruit, and they come to my region for the winter and usually show up around November and stay until spring. And the Korean pear season (my favorite fruit!) came and went and I feasted on them like a cedar waxwing myself.
If you ask me, early winter, especially the time around the solstice, is for resting, dreaming, being cozy, staying warm, appreciating the dark and resting and dreaming.
Another major update for me was that my 30th birthday came and went. In my 20s, I had lots of fantasies of a lavish birthday party for my 30th, but I did not have the capital or the willpower to bring that about at this time. One of these days certainly, maybe another milestone birthday when the world feels more stable and less in the midst of a destructive tide and I'm not dealing with uncertainty and instability in my own life. So how is it being 30? It's honestly somewhat of a relief. When you're in your 20s, 30 feels like a big deal, but all of my friends in their 30s all say that once you're in your 30s is when it really starts to get good. I definitely feel more comfortable with myself and more confident and self-assured than at 25, that much is certain.
And my long stint of unemployment has finally come to an end. It took me roughly half a year to find a new job after my old workplace was dissolved. Never have I had such trouble finding work before. I'm sure I'm not the first person to tell you this, but the coliseum of the "job market" is quite cutthroat these days, and the cruel neopagan blood god of the theocracy of the country of my birth (known by Its usual epithet "the Economy") generally prefers to restrict Its blessings to those of a different socioeconomic class than myself. The unemployment was nice at the beginning. It let me recenter myself and work through some gunk that had been building up inside and do some fruitful inner work and start some new projects, but then that slowly transitioned to feeling stuck in place and ever more concerned about money. And not having a job or an income, in a culture such as the one I live in, can be very harmful to one's self-esteem. But in mid-December, at last, an offer letter. What a relief for that search to be over! The humiliation rituals associated with job-hunting are truly (and I mean this) Kafkaesque. I don't want to write too much about my new job at this point, because that journey has barely begun for me and I'm still going through the training process, so all I will say is that it's much better paying than my last job and the work is in a medical office. May it be fruitful for me and may I be able to serve others with socially useful work.
For recreation, I've been playing a lot of chess. I go through these phases of being really chess-brained, studying openings, analyzing games, playing whoever will accept my challenges, etc, and I was deep into one of those phases, but I think I'm coming out of it now that I'm gainfully employed and that's been occupying my attention and time. Been really enjoying playing the Latvian gambit :)
And I've been weaving a bit. I volunteered with my local weaver's guild to work their annual sale and showcase, where the members of the guild pool their items together to sell handwoven goods to the general public and give weaving and spinning demonstrations. It was actually at their sale two years ago that I even found out about the guild, and I felt so encouraged and welcomed that I ended up joining the guild. I was super nervous to work the sale! But it was actually very lovely, I had good conversations with people and made some connections, and doing demonstration for the public felt really good. I got to walk some people through weaving for the first time.
I also want to take a moment and mention some plans for this website. I still want to write out descriptions for all of my art pieces I have displayed here (and I want to double-check that all the links work...). I want to make my friend's grotto nicer, with pictures and descriptions. I want to have a section to showcase my weaving. And, in the new year of 2026, I want to have a section where I can put (small) reviews of all the books I read, and I can put up my old book reviews up also. I want to finish workshopping my review of Touhou 20: Fossilized Wonders. I want to have a section where I can list other sites I like on the Web. Maybe I want a "currently doing" section that I can update periodically. Probably other things as well! So much to dream about for next year.
I think that's all that I have in me for my early winter update. Sweet dreams, I'll catch you next year!